


Two cold calculating machines start fake fraternizing; what happens next will shock you!

by ckret2



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Chess Metaphors, Enemies to Lovers, Lime, M/M, Manipulation, Mutual Manipulation, Non-Explicit Sex, One-Sided Attraction, Spies & Secret Agents, Summary, Tactile Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing, Unnecessarily Pseudo-Intellectual Pontification, Unrequited Love, optimus is only there for like a paragraph tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 18:57:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckret2/pseuds/ckret2
Summary: As part of wartimeshenanigansspy work, both Prowl and Shockwave attempt, very coldly and clinically, to seduce each other; both figure out very fast that that’s what the other is doing; both decide that under the circumstances, the only logical thing to do is pretend they’ve fallen for the other’s ruse.It starts on a planet far outside the war.





	Two cold calculating machines start fake fraternizing; what happens next will shock you!

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't so much a 3k-word fic as it is a 3k-word summary of a 100k-word fic I'm not gonna write but still wanted to punch people in the feels with. Think of it like a slow burn condensed to a single chapter and one line of dialogue.

It starts on a planet far outside the war, where the Autobot Diplomatic Corps have been working hard for some years trying to secure an alliance, and are about to succeed. Prowl is sent, nominally because as one of the Autobot seconds-in-command he's authorized to seal the deal on treaties, but actually because as the secret head of Diplomatic Corps he's been running the efforts to secure this alliance from the start; and the Decepticons send Shockwave to disrupt the treaty, because they're not yet at a stage where they can simply directly attack this planet to prevent the alliance, and so their best bet is to disrupt it politically, which Shockwave as a former senator is quite qualified to do. (They would have sent Ratbat, but they were pretty sure the planet would ally with the Autobots just to keep as far away from Ratbat as possible.) And so Prowl and Shockwave meet, on neutral ground, where they can't shoot at each other without endangering their political position on the planet. Thus, when they're not trying to subtly undermine each other, they have to play nice with each other.

As it turns out, they're very good at playing nice with each other. They've got the same dry, sardonic sense of humor; sneer at the same people in both factions, for mostly the same reasons; and, although they're cautious about saying too much to a top enemy officer, they both drop enough hints that they can be pretty sure they both have the same ideas about what their own and the opposite faction ought to do if they want to win—ideas that they're equally sure their respective leaders wouldn't listen to. They run in the same circles; all of Shockwave's former allies and students are Prowl's current fellow officers and spies. They both get the impression that, if they weren't enemies, they could have gotten along quite well.

And so, several weeks later, after they've left the planet and returned to their respective factions, when a message from Prowl wends its way through enemy lines to make its way into Shockwave's hand, Shockwave isn't terribly surprised. It's what Shockwave himself might have done, if he actually cared a whit about the war and doing anything to help end it: make contact with the surprisingly similar enemy, and put out feelers to see if he might be exploitable. Cordially, of course.

And of course, without admitting that that's what's being done. Prowl's message is terse, its means of arrival furtive, and it makes no direct mention to the war, or to exchanges of information or resources. He simply alludes to a conversation they had on the planet, and expresses a hesitant desire to see the conversation through to its conclusion.

Prowl hopes to manipulate Shockwave. _Humorous_. Surely he knows there is nothing left inside Shockwave that _can_ be manipulated? He has no emotions to exploit.

Prowl, however, _does_. Shockwave doesn't hold so much loyalty to the Decepticons that he recoils at the thought of socializing with an Autobot; perhaps he ought to "fall" for the bait and try to manipulate Prowl back. Or perhaps instead they could work their way toward making a mutually beneficial exchange of information—Shockwave, after all, doesn't care about selling out the Decepticons as long as _he_ gets something out of it.

So they socialize, secretly, in abandoned space stations and on neutral worlds and over encrypted comms.

It's not long until they get into far deeper conversations than the ones they had on that first neutral planet—discussions about philosophy or ethics and the like; they have similar ideas about logic and emotions and which it is that should guide one's actions. (Which is why it's seemingly ironic, on the surface hypocritical, that they're both doing something that on the surface looks so illogically emotional—hiding from their factions to fraternize with the enemy. Shockwave doesn't know whether Autobot spec ops, much less Optimus, have any idea what Prowl is doing. Shockwave, for his part, certainly didn't tell Megatron about his decision to pal around with Prowl. But of course this fraternization isn't at all emotional. Of course, they both concluded that this exchange was the most logical course of action. The potential benefits of a successful ploy outweigh the risks.) The morals that Shockwave held before his shadowplay, back when he cared about morals, are the morals that Prowl holds now. 

It's not quite entirely certain when, or even whether, they start flirting. It doesn't read like flirting—clipped proposals for a future meeting just a bit sooner than the last meeting, cold and clinical analyses of each other's mental capabilities and recent strategic decisions that would be staggeringly complimentary if they weren't merely so factual. It's not something that anyone but the two of them would interpret as flirting, which is what makes it so unclear whether or not one actually started flirting and the other followed suite, or one misread suggestiveness into the other's statement, responded flirtatiously, and started the cycle that way. But eventually, yes, they _are_ flirting.

And then before long they're interfacing. Shockwave marvels at Prowl's commitment to his performance, his dedication to go to any length to assist the Autobots, futile though it is in the face of Shockwave's absolute emotional impassivity and inability to be seduced. (Emotionally seduced, anyway. Prowl _did_ successfully _physically_ seduce Shockwave, didn't he? Or did Shockwave physically seduce Prowl? Does it count as "seduction" if party A only successfully interfaced with party B because party B played along with the flirting in an effort to seduce party A?) It's all tactile, of course, no hardline cables—neither one is going to risk letting the other hack into his head and take highly classified data.

At this point they've both done things that would get them both demoted, locked up, and/or killed if their superiors found out about it (do the Autobots consider fraternization an executable offense, Shockwave wonders); and yet neither one of them has obtained any strategically useful information, nor has either managed to compromise the other's ability to effectively do his job. It's hard to escalate much further past interfacing, when neither one of them has expressed any interest in switching sides or willingness to betray his faction, or even hinted overtly at romantic attraction. So what now?

Shockwave has found Prowl to be an absolutely fascinating verbal sparring partner, the kind he's only crossed paths with a few times in his life, and this game of political seduction they've played has been enthralling; but he sees no moves either one of them can make to progress it. Are they at a stalemate? Do they declare this a tie and cease contact? If so, Shockwave might actually feel some facsimile of disappointment—the war and his long wait for the ores to finish developing will be boring again, without these interludes. Or perhaps now that they are both sufficiently convinced they can't sway the other, the only strategically valid action either of them can take is to wait until the other is lulled into a false sense of security and then assassinate him, and thus rob the enemy of a brilliant asset? Regrettable, for the same reason—that damn interminable boredom Shockwave shall return to—but, obviously that _is_ the only strategically beneficial move left that either of them can take. And if that's the only move either one has left, then clearly, _Shockwave_ ought to make it, because he would be an absolute fool to allow _Prowl_ to make it instead—

Then Prowl says, quietly, hesitantly (performative hesitance or genuine hesitance?), after one of their heavily-calculated interface sessions, once they've disentangled but are still touching, and Shockwave is contemplating the advisability of getting the assassination over with right now or waiting a little bit until he's replenished some stamina—

Prowl says, "When the war's over, I'd like to get conjugated."

And Shockwave's little mad scientist mind is blown by this breathtakingly incomprehensible move. He has no idea, absolutely none whatsoever, what Prowl's objective is. It's the most fascinating twist in this game thus far. He can't even reply to Prowl, he's too busy trying to work out the implications and motivations tangled up in this statement.

He spends a great deal of time before their next meeting puzzling over what it must mean. A feign of vulnerability and intimacy, sharing post-war dreams? No, unlikely—it's far too late in the game for a move like that. If Shockwave assumes that Prowl is obliquely stating that he'd like to get conjugated _to Shockwave_ , then that opens up more possibilities. Perhaps he is under the mistaken impression that he's successfully wooed Shockwave—Shockwave _is_ hard to read—and Prowl assumes such an offer might drive Shockwave to help hasten the end of the war, even to the Decepticons' detriment. Perhaps—

Perhaps _Prowl_ was successfully wooed?

Oh, Shockwave likes that possibility.

It certainly could have happened without Shockwave's noticing. Prowl, after all, is just as hard to read as Shockwave is. Then perhaps the offer—or the request, or whatever it was—is _sincere_? Prowl is far too professional and far too principled to leave the Autobot war effort in order to trail like a pet after some loved one, and surely by now he's certain that Shockwave would never do such for him. Perhaps it really is a sincere, if deferred, offer to become Shockwave's conjunx.

Such a strange offer, though. Why would Prowl put himself in such a vulnerable position if he has unreciprocated affections, by revealing them to Shockwave? Maybe he thinks they _are_ reciprocated? The wistful self-delusions of the lovelorn? An odd thought, that Prowl could be so skewed by emotions, but Shockwave supposes even the most logical can never be wholly objective. The whispered confession/offer was certainly no cry of passion, Shockwave is sure of that. Whatever Prowl feels, his statement was calculated. He means to get something from Shockwave. What? Just a conjunx, at some point after the war?

Or, something like a conjunx—a formal ally? It has occurred to Shockwave that he and Prowl would be a formidable force if they were on the same side—although he'd never given it much thought, as the possibility had been so remote. Now, though...

The next time they meet, when there's a lull in the conversation, Shockwave asks, whether Prowl had meant _in general_ or _with him_. And Prowl replies, he'd meant with Shockwave. Of course.

Of course.

What an audacious, game-changing move.

So: Prowl has fallen for Shockwave, Prowl suspects Shockwave has fallen for him, or Prowl wishes to propose a post-war alliance. Most likely, some combination of the three. Whatever the case, even though Prowl's the one who made this unexpected move, Shockwave now holds the balance of power. He gets to decide what to do next. Before the next meeting, Shockwave spends far more time than he probably should turning the possibilities over in his mind.

Even if Prowl is completely hood over hubcaps for Shockwave (improbable), he's never going to betray the Autobots. Shockwave can't use this to leverage a Decepticon victory out of Prowl. He _could_ betray Prowl—kill him, capture him, et cetera...

... Or— _or_ —he could consider this proposed alliance.

Shockwave is only barely loyal to the Decepticons. He doesn't care whether or not they win. He cares about his ores, and he helps the Decepticons so that they'll give him the resources he needs. But, his efforts to make progress in his project are _constantly_ hampered by the inconveniences of war and Megatron's repeated demands upon him. Should the war end, no matter who wins it, he'll immediately be free to dedicate his full time to his ore project, unimpeded.

If he switches allegiances—if he helps the Autobots win, and this fact is well-known—in gratitude, they will no doubt give him the resources he needs to continue his work. _Especially_ if he's personally vouched for by one of the seconds-in-command. Optimus will be overjoyed to be on the same side as Shockwave and will gladly second any character reference Prowl gives. Shockwave could get just as much done with the Autobots with Prowl on his side, and if he joins the Autobots now, he can ensure that they _very quickly_ win the war.

So when they meet again, Shockwave informs Prowl that he intends to help him quickly end the war in the Autobots' favor. Prowl doesn't look the least bit surprised. Shockwave marvels at how well Prowl's played their game.

Shockwave requests to meet directly with Optimus. Even at this stage there's still a slim possibility that Prowl might betray him—use him only until the moment the war is over and then discard him and deny the role Shockwave played in ending the war—but Optimus, Shockwave is sure, would never do that to him. The explanation Prowl offers Optimus for Shockwave's sudden change is that Prowl's been quietly working to get Shockwave over to the Autobots for some time now. He does not mention the flirting. Or the interfacing. They don't want to give Optimus any ideas that inappropriate cross-factional fraternization has been going on.

Optimus is in the same room as both of them for approximately three minutes before he figures out that flirting has definitely been going on between them.

He is _immediately_ ready to ship them 'til he dies.

(Of course he is. They're two very intelligent, very self-contained, very rational, very solitary people—people who defied their assigned positions to uphold the status quo and instead viciously called out its corruption at the cost of their own power and comfort—people who Optimus respects and cares about deeply—people who he fears will die alone and friendless. If they've somehow found each other, he's not going to question it, he's just going to be relieved it happened.)

Shockwave considers it amusing that he and Prowl didn't fall for each other's acts, and yet _Optimus_ did.

There are more covert meetings with the rest of Autobot High Command. Classified information is handed over. Plans are made. Gossip gets out, Shockwave doesn't know _how_ , about him and Prowl. They endure the under-the-breath comments with stoicism and lofty disinterest. They've both made a point to be professional around each other since the initial meeting with Optimus; he wonders how the rumor got started. Surely Prowl didn't say anything. Maybe Optimus did. Maybe the Autobots would have made salacious assumptions just on the basis of the similarities between Shockwave's and Prowl's demeanors—that seems to be what Autobot culture is like. Or maybe Prowl _has_ said something; inadvertently praised Shockwave a little too warmly when he isn't around, et cetera. Shockwave is, after all, still considering the possibility that Prowl actually has fallen for him.

The Decepticons are pulled apart from the inside out, and the war is won. There are celebrations, which Shockwave has absolutely no interest in joining. He doubts Prowl will be interested in joining them either. He's correct; it isn't long before Prowl tracks him down, far away from any of the spontaneous parties breaking out like semi-controlled riots through the Autobot base. And then and there, on the night that the war ends, with no preamble, Prowl performs the conjunx ritus.

So then Prowl _has_ fallen for Shockwave. Shockwave almost feels something like a subdued burst of euphoria; his hypothesis was correct.

The war's over and Shockwave's firmly secured his position with the Autobots. Optimus is eager to throw whatever help he can Shockwave's way. There's no need, now, for Shockwave to use Prowl's influence. There's no need for Shockwave to accept Prowl's proposal.

He accepts it.

It's several days before they get the paperwork finalized. A few more before the duties of a newly-triumphant second-in-command spare Prowl long enough that he and Shockwave can have a night together. It's not the first time they've interfaced, but it's going to be the first time they've hardlined, with no war standing between them. It'll be the first time they'll see inside each other's heads.

(Shockwave hopes Prowl won't be too terribly disappointed to get inside Shockwave's head and find out that his affections are one-sided; but, Shockwave never told Prowl they _weren't_ one-sided, did he? Prowl never asked if Shockwave felt anything, and Shockwave never indicated that he did. If Prowl wants romance instead of a mutually beneficial business partnership with occasional intellectually stimulating conversations, he's welcome to ask for an annulment to their conjugation.)

They plug in. Their consciousnesses tangle and intermingle. Shockwave is barraged with emotions he hasn't felt in millions of years, nearly overwhelming after so long with nothing. Although Prowl is calm, even small feelings like mild anticipation and traces of leftover annoyance over something someone said earlier that day threaten to blow Shockwave over like a tornado.

But when Shockwave looks for Prowl's feelings for _him_ , there's a void of friendly indifference where he's expecting to find love.

... Prowl doesn't love Shockwave? (He asks without asking, the question bouncing between their heads.)

Yeah, no—he doesn't. He hasn't. Did Shockwave think he did? (It occurs to Shockwave that he never asked Prowl if he felt anything, and Prowl never indicated that he did.)

If Prowl didn't love him, then... utilizing the offer of conjugation as an espionage tool was, of course, quite savvy—after all, it worked—but then when the war was over, why did he follow through? Why didn't he confess the ruse and leave?

Four reasons. One, Prowl gave his word, more or less, and he tries to keep his word when he gives it as long as doing so doesn't compromise the greater good, which in this case it doesn't. Two, because if the two of them continue to combine their resources and abilities indefinitely, they'll be able to achieve amazing things. Three, everyone knows the war ended because of Shockwave; everyone _suspects_ something going on between Shockwave and Prowl; a sappy cross-faction love story with a happy ending between two high officers will be good for post-war morale, help soften Shockwave's intimidating image in the Autobots' optics (and Prowl's image, to a lesser extent, although it's far more imperative that the Autobots quickly learn to accept Shockwave), and offer a promise of post-war reconciliation between factions. And, four—four, no, Prowl doesn't love Shockwave _now_ ; but Prowl knows his own tastes well enough and at this point he knows Shockwave well enough to strongly believe that if Prowl is given the time and the opportunity, he probably _will_ love him, so ultimately the conjugation won't be a waste.

(And five, which Prowl doesn't admit—five, Prowl has been desperately alone for a very long time, and he fears he might be desperately alone for the rest of his life—and if this turns out to be his one shot to not be alone, he'd be a damn fool to turn it down just because _he_ isn't quite ready for it yet; because by the time he is ready, it might be gone forever.)

And Shockwave has to admit, that all these reasons are... logically sound.

Prowl is surprised by Shockwave's surprise. Was Shockwave expecting more from Prowl? Prowl didn't realize. If Shockwave wants romance instead of a mutually beneficial business partnership with occasional intellectually stimulating conversations, he's welcome to ask for an annulment to their conjugation.

When they've unplugged—when the baffling chaos of all Prowl's _feelings_ stops battering at Shockwave's mind—Shockwave finds that somehow Prowl has left behind some emotion, something pained and hollow and dizzying and nauseous in the pit of his chest, a vacuum under his spark threatening to suck him in.

It takes him some time to realize that the hardline didn't leave any stray emotions behind—it just flipped back on Shockwave's ability to register his own. _Shockwave_ is feeling. And, without recognizing it, has been for some time.

Prowl played the game even better than Shockwave has given him credit for. He even allowed Shockwave to fool himself into thinking _Prowl_ was the one in love. The wistful self-delusions of the lovelorn. When Shockwave thought they were drifting toward a stalemate, Prowl was already cornering him into a checkmate. 

Brilliant. Absolutely, wonderfully brilliant.

With no need to fear midnight assassinations, they're able to recharge with each other for the first time.

Prowl, who does not love him, is warm in Shockwave's arms.

It makes the vacuum under Shockwave's spark howl. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also available on [tumblr](http://ckret2.tumblr.com/post/182874713182/two-cold-calculating-machines-start-fake).


End file.
